You know those people who claim that, to them, every day is a holiday? Well, they’re definitely not wrong. All kinds of unnamed personalities throughout history decided to steal particular days from the calendar and turn them into a time to celebrate some very specific things. And when we say specific, we mean really specific. Here are some weird holidays that you can decide to celebrate if you want to.
#1 Jan 17 – Ditch Your New Year’s Resolutions Day
When’s the ideal time to crumble that resolutions list and slam dunk it into a trashcan? January 17, apparently. Ditch Your New Year’s Resolutions Day is pretty much pushing us from behind to shovel down that giant slice of cake and cancel our gym subscription. And if anyone ever judges you for it, just tell them that you were celebrating this holiday.
#2 Feb 1 – Dump Your Significant Jerk Day
Ditching your New Year’s resolution is one thing, but it’s no match for the emotional impact that cutting the ties with a complete jerk has. If you’re caught up in a relationship with someone who you feel is toxic to you, this is your day to end it.
#3 Mar 28 – Something on a Stick Day
The name doesn’t specify whether it has to be food that’s on a stick, but this is what we’re going with. This is the day to indulge in marshmallows roasted at a campfire and kebabs.
#4 April 15 – Take a Wild Guess Day
Can you guess what this day is all about? If you’re that annoying friend who starts every conversation with “guess what?” then this is the holiday for you.
#5 May 29 – Put a Pillow on Your Fridge Day
As bizarre as it may seem, this is actually a traditional custom that simply evolved along with the trends of modern times. People who go along with the tradition must simply place a pillow on top of their fridge, in hope that it will bring them luck… or something.
#6 June 19 – International Panic Day
Have you been bottling up the stress of your everyday life for far too long? Here’s your chance to unleash all that anxiety, as June 19 is the day the whole world is allowed to go postal over the most unimportant of things.
#7 July 27 – Take Your Houseplant for a Walk Day
Not in the literal sense, as a houseplant with legs would be pretty terrifying. After Bring Your Child at Work Day and Bring Your Pet at Work day, it’s time for houseplants to be flaunted and shoved in people’s faces as well.
#8 August 6 – Wiggle Your Toes Day
This might be a harrowing experience for anyone who shudders at the general thought of feet. But, in a sense, Wiggle Your Toes Day might make for some interesting bonding.
#9 September 5 – Be Late for Something Day
We’re not encouraging being late for that important exam or office presentation, but if the inevitable ends up happening, you can blame it on this holiday.
#10 Oct 19 – Evaluate Your Life Day
It’s not a good choice to participate in the celebration of this holiday as it can lead to a serious existential crisis. Look at yourself, look at your choices.
#11 Nov 12 – Pizza With The Works Except Anchovies Day
All anchovies haters gather round to celebrate this holiday that supports indulging in the pizza “with everything,” minus the salty unwelcomed guest.
#12 Dec 8 – Pretend to be a Time Traveler Day
Parade around your workplace in a Victorian gown and, when asked about the occasion, pretend to be a poor soul who accidentally swapped the 19th century for modern times. Might end up getting you put in a mental hospice, but it’d be worth it.
#13 April 14 – That Sucks! Day
If you’re one of the strong believers that life just generally sucks and that the world is against you, here is your chance to shove it down other people’s throats too.
#14 May 3 – National Two Differently Colored Shoes Day
Shoes and socks in different colors are quirky expressions of personal taste, but on this day, they’re the expressions of everyone. So much for identity and uniqueness.
#15 January 6 – National Take Down the Christmas Tree Day
Another holiday to help you pull yourself together, this one is here to tell you that you really need to let go of Christmas and take down that tree already.
#16 Nov 4 – Use Your Common Sense Day
Because there are some people who definitely need to be told this, here’s your yearly memo.
#17 July 10 – Pen Ballpoint Day
Since we’ve wanted to make a point on how specific these holidays are, here is one that celebrates the one and only pen ballpoint, humanity’s greatest invention.
#18 Sep 4 – Pet Rock Day
Just so people that don’t own cats and dogs won’t feel left out, here is a holiday that appreciates your favorite pet rock. Make sure to take little Timmy out for a walk.
#19 Mar 18 – Awkward Moments Day
The perfect day to pretend like what just happened wasn’t excruciantly embarrassing and to try to make fun of the irony of the situation instead.
#20 Dec 31 – Make Up Your Mind Day
Last but not least, here’s the perfect holiday for every end of the year. It’s time to sit down and decide on which of those resolutions that you’re going to abandon on January 17 you’re going to try to commit to.
Leave a Reply