Since “Star Wars The Force Awakens” will be released upon the world of hyper-excited fans today, the anticipated awesomeness is hard to conceptualize.
Every dedicated Star Wars fan and ticket owner out there is expecting to see what made the first three movies great: awesome story-line, awesome characters played by awesome actors, awesome action scenes, awesome magic and awesome imaginings of future science.
In short, a whole lot of awesome packed into a big long-awaited cake with a cherry on top. (At least 10 years awaited, judging by the most recent “Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith” in 2008, but if we are to be purists about it, more like 32 years since the “Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi” in 1983).
So, since this movie has to come out guns blazing in order to satisfy the fans and no failure is allowed, I thought it only decent to take a look at some guns myself. Namely some Star Wars universe weapons.
So that when the movie hits theaters tonight we’ll all have a firm representation of the varied action-inducers present in past Star Wars universe creations to set us in the mood for new epic struggles.
Here’s 7 Star Wars weapons to die for solely for your pleasure, warrior. May the Force be with you.
1. Ryyk Blade
The Ryyk blade is the traditional weapon of all Wookie warriors. Hand-crafted by the warrior himself, it is considered an extension of his body. Much like the Japanese sword saints viewed their weapons. If you’re into melee combat, strength, grace and honor, this weapon should appeal to you.
2. Flechette Launcher
If you’re more into range than melee, but still want to go old-school, there’s always the Flechette Launcher. Basically a huge glorified dart gun. And by that I mean it shoots very sharp darts over a widespread space, at breakneck speed. Oh and these darts are made of durasteel, meaning they can punch through pretty much anything.
3. Wrist Rocket Launcher
If you like launchers but want something more… explosive, we’ve got just the thing for you. How about a simple to understand, direct, no-nonsense Wrist Rocket Launcher? They even have techy sounding names like the Kelvarex Consolidated Arms MM9 rocket system which the famous bounty hunter Boba Fett used.
But you don’t need to worry about that. Just point and shoot. And see your enemy become less… all in one place.
The perfect choice if you wanna go for something reliable, universally used (and we do mean UNIVERSALLY) and guaranteed for pinpoint precision. If you’re not a Stormtrooper that is… Those guys never did get the hang of them.
But anyway, if you’re a fairly decent shot, once aimed, a blaster will make quick work of its target. I mean, it’s a laser! How much quicker could you get?!
Also, if you happen to get disarmed or lose it, no need to learn a new weapon. There’s plenty of blasters lying around in the universe. And plenty of unwitting Stormtroopers. Did we mention those guys?
5. Force Pike
Ok, ok. Don’t tell me. You’re a warrior pacifist. With no problem of inflicting intense pain on your adversary. As long as he doesn’t die from it.
Fine by me. Whatever suits you, eh?
In this case, just go on and grab a force pike. Read a long sturdy stick that just happens to stun whatever you touch with it into submission. And pain. Lots of pain.
6. Flame Projector
A Flame Projector is a capable Flamethrower which spews out a liquid which it also ignites at the point of emission. As you can imagine, this leads to a (sort of) controlled and directed flame that wreaks havoc on everything in a wide area.
So if you don’t care much about precision (or friend/foe distinction) and also have a tiny pyromaniac bent, this one’s for you. Just a tiny disclaimer: there’s a chance it might blow up and you along with it, if it’s damaged during operation.
But hey, we’ve established you like fire anyway, right?
You knew I was gonna keep this one for last, right? I mean, come on, what ELSE could have been on the top spot?
The Lightsaber has a combination no other weapon has: durability (it’s a laser too!) + strength (can pass through anything) + melee (close, personal and honorable) + design (laser sword!!!) + compact shape (when off it’s a light small handle you can easily carry or hide), etc. etc. etc.
There will never be anything more elegant than a Lightsaber. Or more efficient. Especially if you happen to be a Force user that has insanely fast reflexes and other neat tricks. Because if you are, this beauty also becomes a shield, a throwing spear, etc.