Don’t be afraid to start a conversation with a person, but make sure to take notice of the moment of initiation. Be calm and smile and try to approach the person from it’s side rather than face to face or from his back. If you do so, you might either frighten the person or make him have a defensive attitude. Ask a general question and then try to narrow down the subject of conversation. Don’t be afraid of the silence and don’t start a conversation just because nobody is saying anything, as this might lead to a awkward moment.
Once you have narrowed down the conversation subject, ask their opinion regarding it and listen to their arguments. Only by listening to what they are saying actually understanding their argument will you be able to come up with a good reply when it comes to the dialogue. The most important thing you could do when having a conversation is to listen.
3. Use the same language
If you are talking with someone about a specific subject, try maintaining the same vocabulary as the person you are talking with. For example, use the specific terminology for a discussion regarding technical domains or other domains such as medicine of philosophy. Try not to exaggerate and keep the same language as the person you are talking too. This will make him or her feel confident and he will appreciate your knowledge and interest in overall subjects. Make a good impression but don’t use words just because they sound fancy. You might make a bad impression if you do so and the result will be a negative one instead of a good one.
4. Ask probing questions
Whenever you are having a conversation with someone and they are telling you a story about themselves, something they have experienced or have been through, simple short questions can lead the discussion on the path that you desire it to go towards. If the story is uninteresting, you can start by asking short questions and lead the conversation to a totally different subject, one that you might find interesting so you can participate in the discussion. Don’t let the other person yeap about nonsense, not only will you prove you are not listening but your interest in the person will also diminish. Be smart and pay attention to where the discussion is head towards.
You can always show empathy when having a conversation with someone, regarding of their age or gender. Empathy is an unique human feeling, and it has the ability to bond and get people to think about situations they have never experienced and think about how would they react in those certain situations. Above all, don’t judge the person, but try to place yourself in their shoes and ask yourself what would you have felt and done in the described situation. A good friend is one that can both empathize and be objective, depending on the importance of the situation in question. Try and keep a balance and don’t fall in the other end, in which you actually fell responsible for the person.
6. Continue the subject
When socializing, conversation subjects come and go. If you had a dialogue that you really enjoyed with someone, you can always remember to continue talking about it as long as you bring something new to the discussion. Repeating the same arguments over and over again is not a productive way of having a conversation. Try to extend the subject towards other linked subjects and make the conversation an interesting one.
If you know some people in the group are interested in a certain subject you can always research it and try having the same knowledge about the subject as they have. If you have never heard of the topic, find out the essential so you won’t look like an ignorant if the same discussion is brought up again. This way you will integrate faster in the group and be able to exchange opinions. After you have showed that you are interested in the same things, you can lead the discussion towards a subject you are more familiar with.
8. Body language
Smile! And try not to move your hands too much as this might appear as being distracting. Use your body to show your attitude regarding the conversation topic. You can show approval by being relaxed and have a calm voice and tone, of you can show your disapproval by simply crossing your hands and frowning. Try and control the body language you are showing as this might give you away in certain situations. If you are talking with someone you can’t cope with, don’t let your body show your true feelings and vice versa. Remember to smile and show that the conversation is a pleasant activity for you at that time.
9. Tone of voice and ending
Make sure you keep the same tone of voice as the person or people you are talking too. Don’t get too loud as this might upset some of the listeners and don’t whisper either. Keep a steady balance even if you get enthusiastic about the conversation topic. End the conversation in a polite and casual matter, depending on the level of friendship or intimacy you have with the person you have been talking to.
10. Don’t be shy or too friendly
Take control of the dialogue and maintain it across the overall situation. If you can do this then not only will you enjoy the company but also make the other person fell important enough for you be interested in them, especially if your conversation partner is a woman.