The NFL, like most other competitions, has become much more than just a plain football league meant to be enjoyed as a form of family entertainment. It fell victim to the age of Millennials. Insert dramatic drum roll over here. This means that we’ve stopped taking everything given to us for granted and we find ways to pick apart everything in a way that makes it surprisingly entertaining. This includes the NFL mascots.
We know why mascots exist, right? They’re this incredible representation of the valor and the spirit of a team and they’re the ultimate form of cheering and support. But what happens when your mascot makes you feel the urge to dive out of a window? We rank it on our list among the worst (and creepiest) NFL mascots, of course!
#1 San Diego Chargers – Boltman
Anyone named Boltman is pretty much doomed from the get go. It almost sounds like he’s a reject extra from Thor or a drafted idea by DC or Marvel. Either way, let’s say we can get past the strange name, but the appearance is just too much. In what shape does he resemble any bolts? In fact, we’re pretty sure this is what a real-life blend between sunglasses emoji and the moon one (you know the one) would look like.
#2 Atlanta Falcons – Freddie the Falcon
There’s nothing personal against this guy. Actually, wait, see? This is the problem. Football is a competitive area. Sometimes people (and mascots) are casualties of the crossfire of rivalry and an intense rush of support for our favorite teams. But Freddie the Falcon doesn’t look like he’d be able to handle the heat, so he shouldn’t look like he can’t be in the kitchen.
#3 Miami Dolphins – T.D.
We have to give credit where credit’s due. They pretty much made the best of what they had as circumstances, we know that. It’s no easy deed to come up with a creative image for a team that’s represented by a dolphin. But, hey, if Game of Thrones managed to make the banner of the house with the fish interesting, then surely they can do a little bit better than T.D. P.S. – change the name.
#4 Indianapolis Colts – Blue
Would you trust Blue to be around your beloved family members when celebrating the win of Indianapolis Colts? No? If that’s so, then imagine what the losses must look like. Rumor has it that every loss makes Blue’s eyes poke slightly more out of their gauges as he slowly spirals into madness.
#5 Kansas City Chiefs – K.C. Wolf
When the name of your team doesn’t contain any animals, we understand that it can be pretty difficult to get creative and try to incorporate something that accurately reflects the team. In the case of Kansas City Chiefs… well, we’re not saying a wolf was a bad choice, but that’s the lamest wolf we’ve ever seen, actually.
#6 Carolina Panthers – Sir Purr
The opportunity was there, right there. Panthers are some of the coolest animals to have as an image, so how come that they managed to make it look anything but intimidating? Sir Purr certainly looks (and sounds) like a great addition at a kids party, but not to NFL mascots.
#7 New Orleans Saints – Gumbo
Another team with no animal in the name that managed to completely flop. Gumbo looks like the perfect mascot, but he couldn’t be more off as far as representing the team goes. How about something white, gold, and black, like a mighty angelic warrior to really scare competition away?
#8 Tennessee Titans – T-Rac
It’s getting really difficult here because all NFL mascots have something special. Even though T-Rac definitely gets plenty of cool points for his ability to drive ATV’s through rings, the fact that he completely misses the name of the team has earned him a spot on this list.
#9 Detroit Lions – Roary
So, obviously, the only obvious choice for a name like this is to go with a lion as a mascot. But just like Sir Purr, Roary is an awfully lame name. He definitely doesn’t look all cute and loving, but he doesn’t really nail the fierce look either. In fact, he looks awfully disinterested in the game. Can we make “reluctant NFL mascots” a new trope?
#10 Cincinnati Bengals – Who Dey
The tiger is cool, the costume is nice, the energy is there. There’s just one tiny problem, though… Who decided to name the poor thing this way? If everyone who loves their slogan would do the same thing, we’d end up with a bunch of McDonald’s employees naming their children I’m Lovin’ It.